Curmudgeon Junior?

Am I the only one that recycles probably 90% of the "mail" that we get anymore? It seems like you can't go anywhere without being bombarded by advertising. Pizza ads, window blind ads, discount brake shop ads, kitty cat manicures, how to get rich quick in advertising seminars ads, you name it. I usually just open up the mail right beside the recycle bin outside.

I found the brochure on our screen door handle - "We Buy Ugly Houses". Yep, I'll call you guys right up. I don't quite know how to take that, I realize we're in the process of a remodel, but come on. And I'll hang a sign on their car that says "We Buy Piece of Junk Cars".

I looked up in the sky the other day and saw an airplane flying around with one of those banners trailing it. I thought "how cute, someone's proposing" (poor girl). But no, it was an advertisement for Geico Insurance. And I'm sure their stupid gecko mascot was flying the Cessna. There were no athletic events that day, and I saw it every day for the next two weeks. I called Luke Air Force base and asked them if they needed an excuse for a live fire exercise. Not really, but felt like it.

Went into Home Depot the other day. Couldn't get anybody to help me, as usual (why aren't all the outlets in one place?), but someone came up to me and asked me if I needed our cabinets re-faced. I finally told them I worked in a cabinet shop, and they left me alone. This has happened the last 8 times I've been in HD, and still nobody has helped me during those 8 visits. Our current cabinets actually NEED a brochure hanging on them that say "We Fix Ugly Cabinets" (we're working on it). And they're hawking DirectTV at a table near the front, also. I'm in your store, which is probably a result of advertising a long time ago, why do you have to market to me while in there? Pests. Your best form of marketing at this point is to be nice to me, help me and point me in the right direction.

I was recently reading a letter to the editor in a friend's automobile magazine, and the writer pointed out to the magazine that their prior article criticizing the overabundance of advertising in NASCAR was conveniently placed in the middle of a huge slew of ads.

Around election time, all of the candidates put up their ugly signs everywhere. In yards, on fences, everywhere. Last election, I wanted to call in a blight claim for the entire city of Phoenix. And they're the ones that we elect so they can pass resolutions that tell us we can't advertise our yard sales on telephone posts. Then, a month after the election, their signs are still up. I'm sure there's some kind of ordinance they passed that will fine a normal citizen if their signs are removed.

Amy and I can probably count on one hand the number of times in the past 5 years that we've been to a business or have hired a service based solely on an advertisement that we saw on television, heard on the radio, or received in the mail. So, if you're a real estate investor, don't tell me my house is ugly. If you're an insurance company, rather than spend money on stupid advertising like that (and making Al Gore angry), pass the savings along to your policyholders. If you're Home Depot, help a person out already, and let DirectTV annoy us elsewhere. And stop trying to sell me something I don't need, and help me find something I do need. And last but not least, if you're a politician and you want me to vote for you - don't put up an ugly sign that will stay there for months - the best thing you can do is to answer a question with a straight answer - that doesn't cost you a thing.

Seriously, I don't ask for much.